A Letter from the Future

As a teen, I wanted answers. Answers to questions like, “Do I have a chance with that girl?” The answer was no. She was was two years older and plain not interested. But she was still nice, and I enjoyed our e-mail correspondence.

I also wanted answers to more serious questions like, “Will I ever beat Mono?”

My faith in God as healer really hit the rocks at this time. My young, black and white theology was a sinking because God appeared unfair for withholding His answer.

The letter I’ve composed below is what I’d write to myself if I could send it back in time. Once somebody develops an app for time travel, I’ll do it for real.

Dear Thirteen-year-old Gabe,

I’m answering your request to see into the future. Are you sure you want to know everything?

“I’m tired of raising my hand for healing” you say. “Nothing ever happens.”

“I’m tired of getting my hopes up. And I feel bad that my family is shelling out so much money for lab tests and prescriptions when it reveals nothing!”

“My energy is gone, and if there’s no hope of getting it back, I will immediately stop pursuing a cure.”

Gabe, I’ll give it to you blunt: there is no cure for chronic fatigue. You and your family will spend hundreds of dollars and hundreds of hours searching for a solution, but the doctors will eventually have nothing to prescribe. (When a doctor suggests taking Ritalin for energy production, you’ll know you should have saved your co-pay for a tank of gas or lunch at the food carts for a whole week.)

As far as receiving prayer for healing, you should never stop believing. God loves to heal people, that’s his character. If He doesn’t heal you, it’s not because He doesn’t care.

However, since you asked, healing will not come to your body for at least the next 11 years. You’ll get so desperate your senior year of college that you’ll nearly overdraft your account on a sporadic trip to Bethel to attend their healing rooms. You will witness many healings, but you’ll leave feeling the same. Sorry.

Besides the fatigue, you’ve probably noticed some gum and teeth irritation lately. That’s because you’re allergic to processed sugar. Yes, you’re right, sugar is in everything. But the headaches and other symptoms won’t be severe as long as you stay away from excessive amounts of it. And if you think you can counter the allergy by taking equal doses of vitamin C, ha, you’ll be on the ropes, begging for mercy, as Sugar knocks out your mouthpiece and the bell announces the end of the round.

Also, do yourself a favor and stop playing basketball. I know you’re confident in your ability to beat your brother in a one-on-one matchup, but you’re only setting yourself up to crash the next day–like you just had your wisdom teeth out sort of crash. Caffeine’s a negative, too. Caffeine picks you up and drops you like a bad girlfriend.

There are other things in life besides basketball, though. Like music.  You’ll pick up the guitar in a year, and really enjoy it. John will even give you his Strat because of the hours you log on it.

My last bit of advice is this: praise God through it all. Some dark days lie ahead, but learn to trust him, and remember that you’re not isolated in your suffering. Everybody suffers, from rich to poor.

So I ask you: will you choose to be a fighter? The fatigue may take up residence for another 20 years – will you choose to believe God’s word is still true?

As a fighter, you’ll be able to smile when others get healed before you. Smile when others are promoted over you. Smile when you wake up exhausted after a full 8 hours of sleep. For every morning, you’ll find His mercy. Every morning, you can open the cupboard, and there’s food. Every morning, there’s people that love you, and won’t stop, even when you make ugly choices.

Keep your head up, young man. Your fight is not in vain.

P.S. Along with sugar, keep your doses of Radiohead to a minimum. Cynicism is worse than itchy gums.