Thunder on the Mountain

 

 

 

 

 

It’s extremely rare to spot a mountain lion. That’s why I feel extremely privileged to tell this story.

Back in August of 2010, I was cruising down the winding gravel roads outside Antelope, Oregon, when I had an unusual, but exhilarating, encounter.

I was minding my own business when suddenly, a bold creature emerged onto the path, racing at the speed of my car! I flicked on the highbeams to examine it–and there it was!

I started honking my horn wildly, as if to say, “Whoa, is that a cougar?”

To my dismay, the incessant honking so enraged the lion that he rammed my passenger door! I was slammed with such force that I expected to see a dent later.

Lucky for me, Sweet Caroline suffered no wounds that day. ML, on the other hand, most likely did.

I drove away stunned. There I was, alone. In the desert. At midnight. And Caroline was the only buffer between me and sudden death.

But don’t take my word for it. Here’s ML’s version of the story.

“Ah yeah, it started like so.

Who’s the fool kicking up dust in my hood, this late at night? Homie be on the prowl until suddenly, I now got to share the road. Alright, alright. It’s cool. But then the unthinkable happens: G starts laying on the horn like a monkey claps his cymbals! So I’m gonna be all up in his grill, right? That’s when I blindsided homie, like”boom! how do you like me now? Want some more thunder?”

But just between you and me, my epic lunge into Caroline, or whatever that fruit calls his car, hurt like hell. Like a boxing glove made out of rocks, straight across the face. Your boy needed about 4 aspirin! KnowwhatI’msayin??

Had his window been down, I would have dove through it and finished him off.

Next time, G, you better watch yourself. No cell phone range out in these parts. Just miles and miles of my hood. Your face. My paw. It’s on.”

-ML

Last August, I drove down the same winding, gravel road, alone, looking for some mountain lions. I wildly honked my horn hoping to awake ML from slumber. But we had no reunion. Guess I brought the thunder, ML. Get some!